marymagdalan's Journals on Buzznet http://marymagdalan.buzznet.com/user/journal/ en-us <![CDATA[Uglier than ever.]]> http://marymagdalan.buzznet.com/user/journal/4521681/  

There once was a girl who gave and gave. She gave and gave and they took and took and she still gave more of herself every time. Even when she couldn't give any more she still gave. And they took. Until one day, she awoke to find that there was barely anything left of her.....she had given it all to those who needed her. So she went away and crawled into her hole where she could reach into the depths of herself and discover the things that she needed to see to become whole again. In the meantime, the ones she had given to before became very angry. Why wasn't she there for them? They began spewing venom at her because they wanted her for themselves. No one who she helped even took a second to find out what was wrong with her. Little did they know she was once again locked away baring the ugliest depths of her soul to share with them, to help ease their sorrows. But they still wanted more. All they could think about was themselves and why she had went away and deserted them and their needs. They cursed her and spoke hateful about her behind her back. They sent her letters telling her that she owed them for who she was and that she was "fucking everything up", not once coming with any love or even acting like they cared for her because really, they didn't. You see they had yet to learn the lesson that she had learned a long time ago, so their selfish ways we're rotting for all to see....and the smell....the smell of the guilt and just the idea that they would act that way with someone who had given and given to them was putrid. 

 

And when she came back. There was a new scar with which she bared. One that reeked of betrayal and deceit. A deep dark open wound spilling out for all the world to see once again. And it was uglier than ever.

]]> haley mary magdalan pity girl r.i.p. Buzznet marymagdalan 2009-09-03T19:40:00Z <![CDATA[DEVOLUTION MAGAZINE INTERVIEW - DEC. 2008]]> http://marymagdalan.buzznet.com/user/journal/4350381/ M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN are a high energy metal band made up of three passionate and extreme people who literally live for their music. Fronted by the elusive M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN this is an outlet for her former self. From junkie to rockstar this band is ready to open a vein for you in an attempt to not only understand them but to help you understand yourself. M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN are more than just a band, they're an eye opener, a source to be reckoned with and they are ready to show you just how music can turn your life around. Devolution caught up with the front woman to talk about her insane and delicate past, the challenging present and the tentative future.

DEVOLUTION : Can you give us a rundown on how and when the band was formed?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : I honestly feel that this is what we were born to do but it just took us 20 years to find each other. I met Gzus through a mutual friend. The first song Gzus and I did together was 'Rehab'. After we finished recording it we immediately knew we were onto something cool. The problem was that we were using most of those drugs listed on the song during the recording sessions. We were both in a dark place at the time, so we decided that we'd either clean up or fuck this up. We just locked up and started concocting our new drug, which was music. We would write song after song after song, just to keep ourselves clean and off the street. After about two years of making music we met Ericb. through an old weed dealer. The first song we wrote together was 'Wasted' in the first day we got together. After that we knew we had something special. So we invited Ericb. into our fucked up world of Mary Magdalan. From that point we just started writing more music. At some point Ericb. suggested that we just record some material just so we could hear what were doing, so we got together and recorded 'Rehab' & 'Rage'. At first we thought we were just recording them to hear ourselves but we actually liked what we heard and decided to post the songs on Myspace and see if people would like our shit. That was about 2 years ago.

DEVOLUTION : There is an underlying theme within your songs on your debut album 'Pity Girl' from heroin addiction, troubled childhood, death and trauma'. Do you use these real life events to fuel your song writing and has it become cathartic for you at all?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : It has been extremely cathartic. At first it was hard to even say the things I say out loud because I was saying the things everybody thinks and nobody says. And on top of that, I'm doing it to a bunch of strangers. Then finally I said 'Fuck it" and started spilling my true thoughts into songs. At first it would make me laugh because I couldn't believe I was saying this shit. It was me inside my head but in music. Once the initial shock wore off then it became my little psychotherapy sessions. Then I had to make an album.

It was a hard road for me recording Pity Girl. I would literally come close to going over the edge and I would be midway in between recording a song. I'd be flipping out in the booth and Gzus would have to bring me back down to earth and I'd go back in. I had to take a lot of walks after recording to "come down". And often times the play back would actually scare me because it was such a mind fuck. Its funny because the album ended up coming out as a concept album but in reality its just me and my fucked up life. Every word on that album I lived at some point in my life so it will always be very personal to me. Through it all it helped me get over a lot of bullshit that held me back for a long time. For me I can listen to 'Pity Girl' now and feel good, when for a long time I was just living that hell I was talking about. Not to say that same shit isn't on my back every day, but living through that and coming out the back end alive is blessing enough.

DEVOLUTION : You have recently started recording new material for your follow up album to album 'Pity Girl'; tell us about the tracks on the album, how does it sound? And when will it be released?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : We are really fucking stoked about our new material. Its similar to what you may have heard on Pity Girl but on some killer ass steroids. Definitely some next level Mary Magdalan shit. The only way I can describe it is its like the scene in Fear and Loathing when Hunter eats too much adrenachrome. It's a pure adrenaline overdose. Most of the material is still in development but its some of the best stuff we've written to date. "Mind at War' is just this total mindfuck of a song. Its become my little baby. "System of Freaks" is another really dope song we are working on that feels like a flipout in your shrinks office. 'Pull the Trigger Slow' is a total fucking headbanging suicide hotline anthem. Its all just a big gumbo of psychosis that starts where 'Pity Girl' left off. We plan ..ping some of the material in the new year and hope to have the album in the streets by the Spring. All in all we are really happy with what we are creating right now and when it feels right, it is right.

DEVOLUTION : You have a lot of support on sites like Myspace with many avid fans spreading the word, why do you think that they can relate to you so much? And do you feel any pressure as a role model / influence for them?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : I think that people that fuck with Mary Magdalan have been through some shit to get here. Come the end of the day if you speak some real shit people will respond to that. We're not out here talking about witches and warlocks or some shit out of comic books. We're out here talking about drugs, dysfunctional families and the voices in your head. I don't care who you are, where you grew up or how much money you have, all of those things effect you or someone very close to you. We are those people close to you. Because of my upbringing I know more about abandonment and addiction then I do about singing and I'm a singer. I'm just happy that people get it and it helps them with their problems.

DEVOLUTION : What is the Mary Magdalan live show like? Describe what a fan would expect from one of yours shows. And is it hard to re-live some of your memories when singing about them to a crowded venue?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : For us our show is our drug. We go into our own little shell and dump out every little thing we got. Its the ultimate for me because its the one point where I lose my personal connection with the songs and I can just perform them. Gzus completely loses his shit onstage every single time and Ericb. forms into White Gold whenever he comes close to a stage.

For all of us performing live is extremely humbling. Just to know that people would actually come see us or know our lyrics blows us away every single time. Thats where the real high is. Just looking out onto a crowd of Junkies and feeding off that get me higher than any drug ever has.,

DEVOLUTION : Where did your love of metal music originally come from? Who do you consider some of your influences?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : Our love for music covers from a full spectrum. With Ericb. he's been a student of classical since he was a child but he also shit, slept and breathed Jimi, Sevie Ray and Dime. He's the bastard child of Eddie Van Halen and Miles Davis. Gzus has just as much passion for Slayer as he does for Dr. Dre so he brings his own intensity and original flair. Being that I'm a singer i've always been drawn to powerful vocalists. Layne Stayley is one of my favorite metal singers. His passion can be felt more than its heard. I was raised by addicts so I understand how dope could completely encapsulate your soul, which it did to him and a lot of other people close to me. I also respect what Phil Anselmo brought to the game. His style has grown through generations of singers and still hasn't been outdone. But with me its all about the voice. As corny as it sounds I've been studying a lot of Whitney Houston lately. She's the polar opposite of what I do but she's without question one of the most bad ass singers to ever walk the face of the earth.

DEVOLUTION : Is it true that you originally turned down a record deal in favour of releasing the album yourself? Why did you make that decision and has it worked in your favour so far?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : The funny thing is to this day we never even looked for a deal. We've been offered deals before but they usually involved us getting fucked and we're not into that. Its not like we're out here just passing on deals, we just want to make sure that we sign the right deal. Until then we are going to grind it out on our own. With us that makes absolute sense. We get to do what we love however we want to do it. If we want to make a double album, then fuck it! Lets do it. Its whatever we want to do and doing it that way makes all the sense in the world to us. We make all our own CD's from the writing, engineering, mixing, producing then we print, package and ship every single on e of them. We make all our own merchandise from design & printing to shipping each package with a kiss. It's really personal for us so we put our love into everything that we do and we want to make sure that every single person who has supported us knows that and can feel that when they get their Junkie Care packages from us. The funny thing is people who dont know us think we've got assistants and handlers and all this bullshit when its really just us. No manager, no label, no nothing. But we love that. Being unsigned is like being unstoppable.

DEVOLUTION : What is the relationship like with your band mates Gzus H and Eric B? How did they originally feel about the content and emotional impact of your songs?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : We're family. The one thing that we have as a unit is full trust and respect for each other. We are cosmically connected and it just fits. We're all different but the same. We all know each other well as people, so there's a great bond between us. There's no fights or bullshit. Its funny because whenever we brought in other band members it was always that same band conflict bullshit that breaks bands up, but with us its family.

DEVOLUTION : What is Mary Magdalan currently offering to the music scene that some other bands might not be?We're really not up on what bands in the scene are offering to make that judgement, but with us we just want to give you something that you could stir up something in the listener to do something. Whether its smashing your fist through glass or getting the fuck off drugs, just some food for thought, ya know. We write from a fucked up place to let people out there know that they are not alone in their fucked up place, so as far as contributing to the scene, I think if you spread love it always will come back to you and through our sound we are sharing a piece of ourselves and i feel that is why we have had such an amazing response.

DEVOLUTION : 'Debbie' is one of the most emotional tracks on the album written about your Mother who was a heroin addict and died young. Why did you choose to write the song in such a personal and first person account?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : I never got to say goodbye to my mother. I didn't even know she was in the hospital until after she died. For me it was really my last conversation I had wit her. I just had it in the public eye. Every line, every word, everything about that song was ripped out of my heart and put into that song. It helped me create peace within the relationship I had with my mother and it made me a better person for doing it, but it really took everything I had in me just to write that song. It was many sleepsless nights with tears running down my face so bad that I couldn't even read what I was writing due to all the tears smudging the scribbles on my paper. It was re-living years of pain and trying to find forgiveness to someone you couldnt even speak to. Basically it was fucked and I was stuck in it. But I found my way out and I brought 'Debbie' out with me. 'Debbie" is junkie love at its core. I was so angry at my mother for leaving me for drugs that I didn't really know how to love her and 'Debbie' helped me do that. So thats what this junkie love movement is about, placing aside your ego and pain and reaching out to help others who are like me and my mother, lost in their addictions and cant grasp their own minds and just giving them love.

DEVOLUTION : How do you feel as a person these days? Have things got better? Are you a different person from say… 5 years ago?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : Its night and day from 5 years ago. Five years ago I was completely gone. I was an aethiest. I was an addict. I was purely alone. Gzus was fucking insane and completely out of control. Without this music I can honestly say that we'd be dead. I would have definitely overdosed and someone would have shot Gzus' crazy ass at some point. It was this Junkie movement that actually saved our lives, so yeah life is completely different than 5 years ago. It still gets dark but now it doesn't end up in a two week binge and a complete fucking meltdown. Things still get thick but now there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if its a small light theres a light, so I guess that means things are better. I have learned you create your life. And with that tool I have changed my life. And change is good.

DEVOLUTION : If you could cover a song by one of your favourite bands for a tribute album what would it be and why?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : Its funny because we do a lot of cover stuff just keeps our chops up. We've never released it but we've got a killer cover medley we did of 'My Michelle' by Guns-n-Roses, 'Killing in the Name of' by Rage and 'Duality' from Slipknot. We made it into one song. It's so fuckin sick. We would love to release it but we heard that if we did Axl would gain custody of our first born antichrist child and that would just suck.

Honestly if we had to do a cover for a tribute that we all could agree on it would have to be Metallica.

DEVOLUTION : What is your opinion on the American alternative music scene currently?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : To be honest with you nobody in the band really listens to current music. We spend so much time making music that we really don't have the time to listen to what other bands are doing.

DEVOLUTION : Will you be releasing any singles from the new album? .

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : We never really thought of ourselves as a singles band. For the first album we were too broke to film a video or push it at radio so we just realeased a bunch of songs that we felt were kickass. We plan on doing some videos for our upcoming album, so that should be fun, but with Pity Girl we just never could decide what song would be our single.

DEVOLUTION : Do you have a message for any fans who might be reading this interview?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : Its all about feeling. Do what stirs your blood. Don't ever be a bad imitation of yourself. Just do what feels good, like really deep down good. I believe you can never go wrong with that.

DEVOLUTION : And finally if you could play God for a day, who would you make an Angel and who would you send to Hell? And why?

M∀ЯY MAGD∀LAN : I figure most people that i would want to go to hell are living in hell already so I would probably make them all angels. could you imagine George Bush as a fucking cupid, giving Junkie Love back. He'd go crazy. So the moral of the story is make your enemy an angel. Just to piss em off. Choobies.

 

]]> december devolution eric b gcuz h. junkie mary mary magdalan music psycho rehab Buzznet marymagdalan 2009-07-20T18:11:00Z <![CDATA[†WTOTFW†]]> http://marymagdalan.buzznet.com/user/journal/2139351/
WE RECENTLY DROPPED OUR DEBUT ALBUM PITY GIRL WHICH IS MY BIOGRAPHY OF MY LIFE TOLD OVER THIS INTENSE SOUNDTRACK THAT DOESN'T STOP. IT IS MY PROUDEST ACCOMPLISHMENT TO DATE. WE CURRENTLY IN THE PROCESS OF PREPARING FOR TOUR, SO EXPECT TO SEE US IN YOUR CITY SOONER THAN YOU THINK.

WE PLAN ON CHANGING THE MUSIC WORLD AND ARE EXCITED TO GET DOWN ON BUZZNET. AS WE WILL BE ADDINGVIDEO BLOGGING HERE AND ADDING MORE INTIMATE BEHIND THE SCENE PHOTOS OF THE BAND SO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR MARY MAGDALAN AS WTOTFW!!!!!]]> crunk devil man ericb. gzus junkie journals junkie love junkie love mary magdalan pity girl metal intense insane rage re mary magdalan pity girl punk rock sic Buzznet marymagdalan 2008-04-05T16:14:00Z